Lessons for Students Going Into High School

Note: Thanks to LeeAnn Berry for convincing me to share the outline for a speech that I gave to a group of middle school graduates a few years ago. Always a teacher, LeeAnn also convinced me to add another lesson to the list.


1. Be involved. Jump into high school life: academics, clubs, sports, work, and friends. The pace you set now will help guide the pace of the rest of your life. The world can be incredible and exciting, but only if you're willing to get up off the couch and participate in it.

2. Learn to fail. Don't be afraid to push yourself in school, athletics, and other activities to the point that you fail. It's the only way to improve yourself. When you do fail, confront your failure, learn from it and move on. In the words of leadership expert Zig Ziglar, "Remember that failure is an event, not a person."

3. Be nice to people. You are going to have some very real regrets from your high school years, but you'll never wish that you were meaner to someone. Your harsh words and actions will haunt you for years. Do your best to minimize them, so you don't have to carry that baggage around.

4. Be careful who you hang out with. Bad things happen more often to people who hang out with people who do bad things. You can lose opportunities or worse by being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

5. Don't listen to people who tell you you can't achieve your dreams. There will be a lot of adults who tell you that you can't achieve your dreams. They aren't qualified to tell you that. The world is complex and changing everyday, no one can tell you with certainty that a dream is out of your reach.

6. Be humble. Humility is essential to success. Without it, you won't be able to judge how hard a task is and whether you need help to accomplish it. Every truly significant task requires a team to help complete it. Without humility, you won't have the support of friends, family, and colleagues when you need them. Arrogant people don't have a lot of supporters.

7. Identify your interests and talents. Finding out your personal interests and talents should be your major career-building objectives over the next four years. Those interests and talents will point the way to your future.Because of the broad nature of high school academics, you'll probably have a clearer view of your talents and interests now than you will again until you're in your mid-thirties. Don't waste this opportunity to understand yourself. You may discover some of your interests and talents in school, but many of them can only be fully explored outside of the classroom.

8. Continue working in the areas that you're not good at. It's okay to focus on your strengths, but you can't totally avoid the subjects and tasks that you're not good at. You'll have to be well-rounded in order to achieve your goals. For instance, it's hard to imagine a job that makes a living wage that doesn't require basic knowledge of higher math. Make sure you take at least one more year of math than you have to.

9. Realize that you live in an incredible and exotic place. No where else in the world is exactly like the place that you live in now. The people, culture, landscape, activities and shops are different in every place and community. Do your best to cut through teenage cynicism to enjoy the best of where you're growing up. You only get one chance to experience life as a teenager. Don't waste it wishing you were somewhere else.

10. Volunteer. I work in a nonprofit and I'm often amazed about how much good a single person can do for an organization. It may not be easy to find an organization that both has a cause that you care about and needs the skills that you can offer, but you will find something if you ask around. Volunteering is a great way to make difference in your community while building up valuable work experience that will help you in the future.

11. Take good care of your brain. Neuroscientists are just beginning to figure out the mysteries of the brain. If you do damage to your brain either by ingesting drugs, high levels of alcohol or through physical trauma; there is no guarantee that it will ever be the same again. I know that taking risks is part of growing up, but be careful. Everyone's brain is different. Some of the coolest brains are the most easily damaged.

12. Explore your faith and beliefs. The transition of a person's spiritual life in the teenage years is an incredible thing. Listen to your parents and spiritual leaders, but don't be afraid to question them or to look for the answers on your own. If you're not able to answer those critical questions or get comfortable with a certain level of doubt, your faith will not be there to support and guide you through the challenges of adulthood.

13. Give yourself a break. The world is a tough place, especially when your a teenager. Problems can seem huge and unresolvable. They almost never are. If life gets too overwhelming, slow down and let things settle out. You'll be amazed at how often they do.

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Please support the fight against mental illness by donating to Montana’s NAMIWalk. You can make a donation at my Walk page at http://namiwalks.nami.org/mattkuntz. Thanks for supporting this critical cause!

The Greatest Form of Evangelization: The Last Paragraph of An Obituary

I've been personally evangelized to by a people of a variety of different faiths. Some are friends who bring up conversion over coffee. Other holler scripture from the corner as I drive my girls home from daycare.

I've listened to or read some of the greatest proselytizers around, regardless of whether I shared their viewpoint. Many of them I've learned lot from, some I have not; although that's probably more my fault than any flaw in the person or their message.

One form of evangelization always has a deep impact on me. It comes at the end of an obituary of someone that I really admire. The simple statement of where the family will be holding the funeral. That statement usually tells me what religion and pastors helped developed that incredible person. I can't imagine a more powerful testament to the organization's message and process.

In my interpretation, Jesus seems to recommend a similar method of choosing between evangelists in Matthew: 15-20.

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.

The good churches will bear good fruits in their parishioners. While their may be outliers, in general the parishioners should be doing their best to "Live as children of the light...[which] produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth." Ephesians: 5:8-9.


Last week I read the obituary of my friend Bill Beaman. Bill was one of my friend's fathers that I got to know while working together to help advocate for better care for returning veterans post traumatic stress injuries. While I did not know him as well as many people, I knew Bill well enough to know that he was an amazing man. He was compassionate and humble with a genuine presence of goodness. His obituary described how the retired colonel faced death "with a soldier's courage and his own personal sense of grace."

I wish that I had better words to describe Bill. But, I can clearly state that it's hard to imagine a better testament to Helena's Saint Peter's Episcopal Church than it helped guide the life and principles of Bill Beaman.


NOTE: Please share the book, Looking for Answers Through Dirty Glasses: Finding the Divine in a Challenging World, with a friend that is going through a hard time. It's less than $9 in soft cover and 99 cents on Kindle.